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Bar Joke: “Blind Man Enters Bar”
A blind man walks into a bar with a seeing-eye dog. When the blind man reaches the center of the bar, he snatches the dog up by his collar and starts swinging him around and around.
The bartender speaks up and says “Hey what the hell are you doing?”
The blind man says, “Just taking a […]
Bar Joke: “He is a Very Fast Drinker”
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?”
The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so […]
Bar Joke: “A Nun Arrives at the Local Bar”
John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.
“You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!”
Now John gets pretty […]
Bar Joke: “Making a Bet at the Bar”
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. “I’ll bet you $10 he’ll jump,” said the first guy. “Bet you $10 he won’t,” said the second guy.
Then, the guy on the […]
Bar Joke: “Gold Urinals”
The man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman.
‘No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold.’
She said she didn’t believe him […]
Bar Joke: “Depressing Times”
A man walks into a bar one day and says to the barman “Please, I need a really stiff drink, pour me the strongest you’ve got.”
“Sure” says the barman, “but what’s bothering you?”
“You don’t want to know,” says the man, “but I’ve just found out my son is gay”. He has his drink and leaves.
The […]
Bar Joke: “Texas Sized”
A green horned northerner went down to Texas on vacation. One evening he decided to go for a drink at his hotel’s bar. Swinging a leg over the stool he calls out, “Barkeep, I’d like a beer.”
The barkeep asks, “You want a Texas size beer?”
Without hesitation the northerner answers, “Yep! I want it Texas sized.”
The […]
Bar Joke: “Texas Sized”
A green horned northerner went down to Texas on vacation. One evening he decided to go for a drink at his hotel’s bar. Swinging a leg over the stool he calls out, “Barkeep, I’d like a beer.”
The barkeep asks, “You want a Texas size beer?”
Without hesitation the northerner answers, “Yep! I want it Texas sized.”
The […]
Bar Joke: “Fifty Cents”
A man runs into a bar and says to the bartender, “Give me twenty of your best single malt scotch, quick!”
The bartender pours the shots, and the man drinks them down, one at a time, as fast as he can.
The bartender says, “Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast.”
The man says, “well you’d drink […]
Bar Joke: “Murphy Twins”
One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says ‘You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I’m gonna go over there and talk to him.’
So, he goes over to the man and taps him on […]